Covington & Sons

If someone tries to steal your watch, by all means fight them off. If someone sues you for your watch, hand it over and be glad you got away so lightly. ― John Mortimer

A watch is an essential tool to anyone who must perform a job within contractual time constraints, or when She Who Must Be Obeyed demands punctuality using the cat-o’-nine-tails that is her tongue (ツ). Not critical for fishing, cleaning rifles, or watching TV perhaps, but indispensable when engaged in work-related activities such as installing cabinets, pouring concrete foundations, or erecting structural steel frames.

In this series of articles your most humble and obedient would like to relate a few ways I’ve used my watches at work, and the sticky ends some of them met.

In this first article I will relate a true story of an effective, time-proven way to use an honest wristwatch to stave-off venal, criminal bureaucrats for good purposes. I don’t know the watch’s ultimate fate but, for a time at least, it ended up in the hands of an undesirable person.

As background information, I should first share my sartorial philosophy about timepieces, because after all, fashion is my life (ツ).

In our time, the wristwatch is the only jewelry, besides a wedding ring, a manly man can wear during manly pursuits. That said, my exquisite sartorial standards do not mandate fancy watches, for while a finely crafted diamond watch can make a serious fashion statement, IMO an expensive luxury watch clasped on the wrist says nothing positive about the man, manly or no. That said, at one time in my career in international construction I was compelled to buy, wear, and even drop a luxury clepsydra (wristwatch) in public. No diamonds…

Allow me to explain this contradiction.

At the time of this story I lived in Tokyo and was employed by a major Japanese general contractor, indeed the largest general contractor in the world at the time.

As you are aware, commercial construction requires many sheets of drawings. Nowadays, we think nothing of transmitting vast quantities of digital data instantly and very cheaply, via the internet, data devoid of weight and volume. But at the time of this incident, internet access was available only to a few major research Universities and government agencies, so architectural and technical drawings, which were all drawn by hand at the time and printed out as heavy, bulky, paper blueprints reeking of ammonia copy fluid, were delivered to government agencies, bidders, suppliers, subcontractors, and jobsites either by slow boat, airmail, courier or hand delivery. Accordingly, the cost of reproducing and distributing such bulky documents internationally was a major project cost that made UPS, DHL and Fedex highly profitable back in the day.

Time and traffic aside, the taxes and extortion these drawings and specifications faced when the customs agencies of some countries (actually, many countries taxes and tariffs) got their mitts on them were monumental.

In this case, my employer had been awarded a turn-key hospital construction project inside the Philippines through an agency called JICA. JICA selected the designers, and contractors (always Japanese companies) and funded 100% of the design and construction costs with all payments made following JICA procedures inside Japan. This means there were no transfer of funds within the country where the public hospital was erected.

As you can imagine, while the local residents no doubt appreciated the improved, indeed unprecedented access to health care this facility provided to the poor, the JICA system prevented the local government kleptocrats from embezzling or stealing the project funds, so they hated JICA projects with a dragons’ bitter hate. Gentle Readers familiar with both large bureaucracies and international construction will gasp immediately grasp the ramifications.

Chief among these ramifications, IMHO, is the evidence it provides that corrupt governments would rather their citizens suffered and died if their survival meant local politicians and/or government employees might be denied an opportunity for graft and extortion. This is not even a tiny exaggeration.

I don’t know about now, but at the time Japanese taxpayers and general contractors smiled on JICA projects because it provided a an actual, physical, world-class hospital to people in third-world countries desperately in need of health care quickly, reliably and at a reasonable cost, thereby showing Japan’s benevolence to countries the Japanese military ravaged during past foreign adventures, all while maximizing retention of taxpayer funds within Japan. The Philippines is one such country.

But graft, corruption and outright theft are always a problem with construction in the Philippines, and the local politicians, at least those I knew at the time, also loathed JICA projects because funds for the construction work were paid directly to the Japanese construction companies, like my employer, in Japan, giving the famously corrupt government in Manila no opportunity to embezzle them. Likewise, Japanese politicians, also extravagantly corrupt, loathed JICA projects because the opportunities for graft and embezzlement were much much fewer than a standard construction project.

Here’s a word to the wise: Be extremely distrustful of any politician in your nation that goes to a foreign country to discuss, negotiate, or visit a government-funded construction project because it’s almost guaranteed that they will use the opportunity open an account in the Bank of China and arranage to receive bribes from foreign governments, contractors and suppliers free from the risk of detection of wrongdoing by their own government. I say this based on direct experience.

But I digress. Meanwhile, back in Manila, at that time customs demanded a payment of 25% of the full value of the actual physical construction work reflected in the drawings. Not just the cost of producing and/or printing the documents, but the cash cost of placing physical concrete and erecting actual steel. That’s a lot of money, millions of US dollars in fact, and involved a big time delay while the amount is evaluated and negotiated.

But as with most problems, there was a way to sidestep the problem. To whit, my superiors in Tokyo asked me to courier the drawings to Manila on several occasions. The reasons for this, as it was explained to me, is that Japanese companies have a history of being generally more agreeable to demands for bribes, so they are pressed harder than American citizens, such as your humble, befuddled servant, who have a reputation for refusing demands for bribes entirely, and then angrily calling on embassies to support them against undue pressure from foreign governments. It’s illegal under American law to pay bribes, donchano.

But because vague assurances from Philippine government officials of speedy, honest treatment could not be relied upon, in preparation for my visit at Manila Customs, my superiors required me to buy a Rolex watch, with my own funds, with the promise they would reimburse me in due time. So I bought a GMT-Master II.

At the airport I retrieved my bags and three big packages of specs and drawings and toddled off to customs inspection. As soon as the agents at Manila customs saw the heavy pile of drawings their eyes lit up, but before they actually demanded a percentage of the total construction cost, I followed my superior’s instructions, extended my left arm over the stainless steel inspection table, displayed the watch, deliberately released the catch on the watch band, and allowed the watch to fall clattering onto the table.

The inspector quickly picked up and examined the watch, and glanced at me questioningly. I just nodded to him respectfully, loaded up my documents, grabbed my travel bag, and left without saying a word. As I was passing through the doors isolating the inspection area, I glanced back and saw the custom inspector smile like a maniac, stuff my watch into his pocket, and wave his next victim to his station. And so the ancient game of taxes, tariffs, bribes and extortion continued.

Of course, my associates were waiting outside the airport in an automobile by the curb to receive the drawings. We drove to the office to drop them off, and then went out to one of the many clubs in Manila to relax until my return flight to Tokyo was ready to depart.

Why a Rolex GMT.Master II watch, you say and not the Breitling Navitimer James Bond wore in Thunderball or Scaramanga’s Rolex Cellini King Midas seen in The Man with the Golden Gun, or even the economical Swatch GE218 that Blowfeld wore with such panache? This was before the fake “Swiss Made” watches deceptively sold by Rolex recently destroyed their reputation were available, but until recently Rolex watches were immediately recognizable and were considered as good or better than cash in many countries, including the Philippines. Indeed, it was standard operating procedure back in the day for businessmen of all nations to wear a Rolex watch as a last-ditch source of emergency funds, especially since the prestige and value of this brand of watch was instantly recognizable, unlike a cheaper Omega or a more-valuable but little-known Patek Phillipe.

BTW, this is exactly why the solid gold Rolex Presidential watch sold so well for a time in many backwards countries.

And why was I instructed to ostentatiously and noisily drop the watch onto the metal table and then walk away without a word? Three reasons. First, because if one offers government employees cash, it’s obviously a bribe, a crime even if the customs officer demanded the bribe at gunpoint. And as in the United States, superior officers are always eager to use the color of authority to steal cash from subordinates. Just ask Congress, US military, or the IRS where they misplace billions of US dollars every year. But a watch is just a timepiece without a receipt.

Second, human avarice being what it is, an argument about the amount or method of a cash payment is likely to arise, especially if the prospective recipient has the power to demand a look into one’s wallet, as the man with the gun does. The Rolex simplifies all that.

Third, if one pays cash, unlike a single timepiece that cannot be easily divvied-up among other customs officials, arguments and long delays in backrooms will always arise. But if the bakshish is just a single watch of obvious value that cannot be divvied-up like cash, dealing with the custom agent’s coworkers and relatives becomes his problem to resolve after his shift is over and you and the drawings are long gone. Indeed, if he’s clever and discrete, they may never know the transaction occurred.

And lastly, if the customs agent suddenly decides a watch is not enough compensation, and in mighty, puffed-up, hypocritical umbrage tries to turn the tables by claiming a crime has been perpetrated, you can play dumb and insist you innocently, clumsily, or accidentally dropped the watch, and you thought the agent kindly picked it up to return it to you. Cash would not work for this approach.

Clever no? I didn’t think this technique up, but I saw it work well 5 times. Welcome to the wonderful world of international construction.

While it was good to provide a hospital to poor people, I’m not proud of my role in this tale. Gentle Reader will draw your own conclusions from this account, but I will be so bold as to state that it’s a stretch to criticize the person being extorted when the person doing the extortion is one government official among many making the same demand, and he has a gun.

Corruption always lead to destruction of civilizations and the suffering and death of innocents.

In future articles in this series well consider the attributes of a useful watch for the woodworker, and examples of how to use one to improve one’s efficiency at work.

YMHOS

If you have questions or would like to learn more about our tools, please click the “Pricelist” link here or at the top of the page and use the “Contact Us” form located immediately below.

Please share your insights and comments with everyone in the form located further below labeled “Leave a Reply.” We aren’t evil Google, fascist facebook, or a Whitehouse staffer and so won’t sell, share, or profitably “misplace” your information. If I lie may all my sawteeth shatter.

There’s no clear water from a muddy well.

-Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

Sawdust production is the essence of woodworking, but a little planning early in the process will always result in more efficient work.

In this article we’ll examine the four planning tools and documents critical to efficient woodworking, and which beginners to the craft need to know (whether they decide use them or not): (1) Design drawings; (2) Bill of materials or cutting list; (3) Cost estimate and; (4) Schedule, or programme.

Planning Tool No. 1 – Drawings

A drawing of a 6-panel entry door. It needs dimensions and a cross-section, but as drawings go, it’s a good start. BTW, this style of door is also called a “cross and bible” door because the arrangement of rails and mullions in the top half create a cross, while the two panels in the lower half can be imagined to represent the Old and New Testaments in the Bible, three features that are said to prevent evil from crossing the threshold of such a door. Many say this is totally coincidental, but in light of the superstitions surrounding doors and entrances since ancient times, I think not.

There’s not enough time or space in this humble website to discuss drawings in any detail, but for purposes of solidifying your thoughts into a goal, and determining the objectives necessary to reach that goal, you will need a design, of some sort, recorded in a drawing, of some sort.

Without a drawing, even if it’s just a sketch on a paper napkin using a drinking straw and ketchup, you have no plan. And without a drawing, you lack the most important tool to maintain quality, cost and schedule. Do any of these factors matter to you?

For this purpose you would be wise to own the tools and develop the skills necessary to make simple technical drawings of your project including plan views, elevations (side views of all six sides) and cross sections. Isometric drawings are nice too, but not mandatory for most projects.

A computer with CAD software won’t hurt, but such expensive, complicated tools are not necessary unless you’re required to submit design drawings for review and approval by a paying Client, or perhaps She Who Must Be Obeyed. If a paying client, make sure you allow time in your schedule, and funds in you budget if you are paying a draftsman or CAD monkey, to revise and resubmit drawings. I strongly advise you to never begin making sawdust before your Client has approved (and ideally, signed) the design drawings, even if they’re drawn in Heinz ink.

For simple projects, such as furniture or joinery, dimensioned pencil drawings on plain paper will usually suffice. So you’ll need paper (mylar drafting paper is worth the cost for its durability), a board to tape your drawing paper to while you’re working on it, drafting or masking tape to secure the drawing, a square (a framing square will work fine), a 45˚plastic, steel or aluminum drafting triangle, and a straightedge to guide your lines, a pencil and eraser, a scale (e.g. 1/4″= 1′), a divider or two, and a drafting scale.

Planning Tool No. 2 – Cutting List or Bill of Materials

Once your design drawing is near completion, you can get started on making a Cutting List or Bill of Materials (BoM)

A BoM (AKA Materials List) lists all the pieces, parts, components and supplies required to fabricate the project. You may not need that much detail, but you will absolutely need a Cutting List. The following are the primary reasons for making a cutting list:

• Efficiency: Reduces guesswork and speeds up the build process.
• Accuracy: Ensures each part is laid-out, measured and cut correctly.
• Material Management: Helps you to accurately estimate the quantity of lumber needed, it’s minimum length, width and thickness, as well as its cost.
• Organization: Keeps your workflow structured, so you know what to cut and the most efficient order to cut each part.
• Reproducibility: Acts as a record should you want to recreate the project in the future.

A cutting list is simply a table, often written in MS Excel, Google Sheets, other spreadsheet software or even by hand on a paper notepad in ketchup. Professionals purchase or develop cutting list computer templates for the type of project they typically undertake, but this only make sense in production work.

List all the major wooden components in this table, including the name of each part, its location in the assembly, all its dimensions (length, width, thickness) and species of wood, if more than one is used, and its designation. If special surfaces treatments (e.g. roughsawn, hewn, adze, paint, stain, pink candy apple glitter with rhinestones, etc.)

Regarding the term “designation,” this is simply a non-permanent marking convention you employ at your discretion. Whatever method you choose, you need to be able to place this mark quickly, legibly and directly on each part, in pencil or lumber crayon. Indelible marking pen, for instance, is not good because it’s permanent and can bleed through the finish months after the project is finished.

A glance at any mark you’ve made should tell you exactly where it belongs within the assembly in an instant.

I use a version of the cabinetmaker’s triangle. Include these marks in the cutting table to describe each individual part. Please also mark this designation directly on the wood so there is absolutely no confusion.

Consistency is mandatory and care must be taken to avoid confusion. If you do a good job developing your marking convention it will serve you well for many years and many projects turning cursing and confusion to deep satisfaction. This is a big step in developing professional-level skills.

Dictum: Popwoodwork: FineWoodwork

Can you get by without a cutting list? Sure you can. But you save nothing by not preparing one, not even time, and can loose much. Moreover the process is excellent training that will give you confidence moving forward. It may improve your overall analytical capabilities too.

Planning Tool No. 3 – Cost Estimate

If Gentle Reader’s has bottomless pockets, such that the quantity and quality of wood available to you are unlimited, then a cost estimate may be unnecessary. But even then, I encourage you to prepare a cost estimate because, as a wise construction estimator named Warren (RIP) once told me, you can never truly understand a project until you’ve made a cost estimate. Why? Because to make a cost estimate you need to analyze the project in detail and list (1) all the materials and (2) the dimensions and quantity of the parts, calculate anticipated waste, estimate the time to make and assemble all the parts, and then multiply the quantity of materials (perform a quantity takeoff) required by the cost of those materials, and add the labor cost.

As you can see, a cost estimate is the natural expansion of a cutting list, which is a natural extension of a design drawing.

This may not be an easy job, but if you aspire to professional-grade skills, then the exercise is worthwhile even if the resulting accuracy the first few times is not stellar. Two steps forward one step back is still progress!

Planning Tool No. 4 – Schedule

Part of creating a final cost estimate, as in a commercial bid, is to breakdown the work required to accomplish the project into pieces and assign a time value and unit price to each, analyze the best workflow combining all the tasks, and then to insert this information into a document called a “schedule” in countries influenced by USA where the CPM (critical path method) schedule was first formally developed for planning and managing factory shutdowns and shipbuilding, or a “Programme” in the UK, or a kouteihyou （工程表) in Japan.

A schedule is the actual step-by-step plan for the build. Is it absolutely necessary to write one? No, of course not, but until you can write a simple schedule, you don’t have a real plan, just a SWAG (scientific wild-ass guess).

Computer programs are commonly used to write and manage schedules nowadays, MS Project, SureTrak (now defunct) and Primavera P6 are some your humble servant has used over the years. Such software is extremely convenient and even useful, at least they were until Oracle got involved. That said, I learned to write and manage schedules by hand long before commercial computer software was available, and continue to make rough schedules for even complicated construction projects by hand, so fancy software is not necessary, especially for hobby woodworking projects.

The key points to pin down when writing a schedule are to first plan the the project with drawings and cutting lists, and to then identify the various task or jobs it will take to get the job done, and time it will take to complete each. Then figure out which of those tasks can only be done one after the other, and if they can be worked on consecutively, what the timing of the work progression will be.

For instance, when making a door, the parts must be cut to size before the joints can be cut, which in turn can only begun after the wood has been procured, thickness planed and jointed. On the other hand, you can procure the wood, hinges and begin thickness planing before, or even at the same time some of the joints are being cut.

For example, your breakdown might include the following tasks, some of which you may perform directly, or you may subcontract out to others, finishing for example.:

1. Produce drawings: 4hr
2. Procure materials: 16 hrs
3. Mark materials: 1hr
4. Saw materials to approximate length and width: 8hrs
5. Thickness plane and joint one edge of materials: 3hrs
6. Layout: 1hr
7. Cut joints: 8hr
8. Test-ft & Glue-up: 1hr
9. Cleanup: 0.5hr
10. Finish sand/plane: 2hr
11. Apply finish: 3hr
12. Install hardware: 1hr
13. Deliver/install final product: 6hr
14. Invoice Final Payment: 1hr

In the case of hobby woodworking, a detailed schedule may be psychologically onerous, taking all the joy out of the project. On the other hand, it can help prevent simple projects and small cash investments from morphing into complicated, expensive projects. But you never know until you give it a try.

Conclusion

Gentle Reader may be off-put by these steps and document-prep because they seem like actual work, contrary to the spirit of woodworking as an excuse to drink beer hidden away from the flaming eye of She Who Must Be Obeyed. But please keep two absolute truths in mind: First, regardless of how or when or to what degree of detail you perform the tasks I’ve described in this humble article, none of them are busywork. Indeed, documents have been found (on papyrus, no less) that evidence that Pharoh’s project manager for the pyramids did the same.

Second, whether you realize it or not, in one way or another you will do every single one of these jobs before the project is complete, you just won’t realize you’ve done them until after the fact. And if you proceed without a plan, you will have done them in a disorganized manner, out-of-sequence, on the fly, inefficiently, and perhaps with haphazard results. Such is human nature.

While the planning and documents these steps require may seem like they will make the job take longer, the truth is it will go quicker, with better results, and with better quality at less cost. I promise.

Until we meet again to gather herbs and posies in the troll woods, I have the honor to remain,

YMHOS

If you have questions or would like to learn more about our tools, please click the “Pricelist” link here or at the top of the page and use the “Contact Us” form located immediately below.

Please share your insights and comments with everyone in the form located further below labeled “Leave a Reply.” We aren’t evil Google, fascist facebook, or a Whitehouse staffer and so won’t sell, share, or profitably “misplace” your information. If I lie may all my sawteeth shatter.

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